I posted this is another thread but I took quite a bit of time writing this and felt like it deserved its own thread.
So first off I’ll start by saying that I don’t believe that any trip can be considered bad. Uncomfortable and unfortunate things can happen but I don’t believe that a trip can be considered completely bad. I’ve had numerous psychedelics experiences that have been extremely uncomfortable at times and I’ve had some really shitty things happen while tripping. However, I still value those experiences and don’t just consider them “bad.”
Now to my “bad acid trip” story.
My best friend (I’ll call him Zoro for the sake of anonymity) and I were selling LSD at the time so we had sheets on us all the time. We decided to get high on our own supply one day and planned about a week ahead. We woke up and were going to go get something to eat before we dropped when a mutual friend (who I’ll call Ben for the sake of anonymity) pulled into our apartment complex and asked what we had planned today. We told him we were going to trip and he asked if could with us. We knew this kid relatively well and thought it would be fun to trip with him. Boy were we wrong.
We went and got our food and got back to our apartment. Now Ben said he had never tripped on LSD before. He had done mushrooms multiple times but never LSD. First red flag. Zoro and I were planning on taking 5 hits each which would have been the most Zoro had ever taken and slightly less than I had ever taken before. In hindsight, Zoro and I would have been completely fine with this dosage. We made the poor decision of giving 5 hits to Ben thinking that everyone should be on the same level when tripping. Most of the times I had done LSD before it was always slightly awkward to trip with people on different amounts of LSD. It always was in the back of my mind that so and so was on less acid so they probably weren’t tripping as hard, and so and so had taken more than me so I can’t imagine how they must be feeling. I’ve come to learn that this mentality is super wack and people should only take as much acid as they are comfortable taking.
We took the acid. I had called my pot dealer to bring us a quarter so we had smoke while we were tripping. About 10 minutes after we took it I was already starting to feel the pre-trip anxiety. My mindset was already starting to change when my pot dealer showed up.
My pot dealer was an old buddy from high school who I used to be very close with. Since graduating he started to become gang affiliated and began consuming pretty much any substance he could get his hands on. He was with his girlfriend and proceeded to just hang out for like 30 minutes after selling us the sack and talking about how he was getting drugs from these two guys who were supposedly in MS13. Telling us how they were actually the nicest guys ever which you would never expect from a gang member. It was so uncomfortable beginning our trip listening to this shit so just before I was about to tell them they needed to bounce they finally got a call and needed to make another slap.
Finally they left and that’s when I think we all realized how hard we were tripping. We were rapidly climbing the LSD roller coaster, faster than I had ever before even though I had taken 8 hits before. I should probably have mentioned that this was the first time taking this batch of LSD we got.
We needed to find something to occupy our drug-filled minds. I got on my computer and put on Fantasia, my favorite movie to watch while tripping. That entire movie is a brilliant masterpiece and unbelievable to watch while tripping. It feels like Walt Disney is playing with your consciousness and it’s just unbelievable. We watch this for a little while when I remember I had downloaded a movie called “A Scanner Darkly”. I decided to put this on and so began our descent into LSD madness.
If you haven’t seen this movie before then go Google some screenshots. It’s essentially an entire movie about this new street drug that is making everyone go insane and the whole movie has this super trippy filter applied to it. There’s many aspects of this movie that are extremely uncomfortable to watch while tripping. If you’ve seen it you probably know what I’m talking about.
Well we thought the movie had basically infected our environment. In our mind the movie had transmitted through my computer into the living room and we were in some kind of alternate reality. There was no conceivable plot, it was just a bunch of random trippy animations. Together we formed this idea that in “real” reality we were all still sitting on our couch and that once we got up from the couch, we had entered a new reality where there were no consequences and we were basically free to do whatever we wanted. As we did whatever in this new reality, we were really just inside our heads on the couch still.
Anyone who has some experience with psychedelics know that this is a dangerous headspace to get into. Once your concept of reality goes away and you start believing that there are no consequences for what you do, things start to get really fucking weird.
Now to where things start going downhill.
We had had enough of this fucking movie so I turned my computer off. But for some reason, when the computer was turned off there were certain keys on my LED keyboard that were still glowing. This made no sense. There should have been no power coming to my keyboard yet some (about half) of the lights were still on. If a light was off and I pressed the key, it would begin glowing. If it was on and I pressed the key it would stop glowing. This contributed to our idea that we were not in real reality.
So we had to decide how we were going to handle living in this new reality. Ben decided that he wanted two things and began repeating them over and over. Sex and money. He would say one, pause for a second as if he was trying to think of a great idea, then say the other. He cycled through this for quite a while before he started saying some really weird shit. “Are we having sex right now?”
I looked at my best friend Zoro and we had a mutual feeling of discomfort come over us. Things were getting too weird now. Being the most experienced psychonaut there, I started to try and diffuse the situation. I put Fantasia back on and we calmed down for a short while. In comes the fucking weirdo roommate on break who was at work this whole time. I’ll call him Trans.
A little info about Trans. Trans was supposed to be going to college and had his apartment paid for by his parents. Zoro and I had been crashing there and selling drugs out of it for free. All we did was smoke him up every few days and he never said shit. Well Trans, as his nickname implies, was going through a strange stage in his life. He was started to wear makeup, paint his nails, wear feminine clothing, etc. He even started talking like a girl.
Well he walks in, sit downs on his lazy boy which doubled as his bed, and we all look at him. Immediately we burst out in laughter. This dude was wearing eyeliner, his face was caked up with makeup, and he had his hair in a pony tail with bangs. Dude looked like a straight drag queen in a Walmart vest (where he worked). His vibe made this whole trip even fucking weirder. He proceeded to what seems like torment us the entire time. He sat in his chair and was tearing paper and I looked over at him and told him to fucking stop like what the fuck. He just replied “Zoro is tripping” with this evil grin on this face. We just sat in a state of pure discomfort the whole time he was on break.
Eventually he starts going in and out of the bathroom over and over. He must have gotten up and went in the bathroom 10 fucking times. Each time we would think he had left and we just didn’t realize it, only for him to come back out of the bathroom and bring his horrible vibe right back. After the tenth time, Zoro finally told him that he had to fucking leave. He proceeded to go into the bathroom and come back out a couple times then finally left.
Now we were peaking at this point. We couldn’t even recall whether Trans had left yet. At one point we thought we had killed him. We got up and checked the whole apartment multiple times, each time forgetting we already made sure he had left.
Things start getting a little difficult to remember at this point which I attribute to being on such a high dosage of LSD and my brain naturally trying to protect itself from this bad memory.
Ben was shirtless at this point and began throwing off this “teenager in heat” vibe. Constantly talking about sex. Asking if we were having sex. Asking if we wanted to have sex. Zoro and I were tripping the fuck out. We tried to get him to lay down and stay in the back room but as soon as we would leave he would get right back up and follow us out. Then he got completely naked and stood in the corner pretend fucking something. He was moaning and pretty much simulating sex with an imaginary being. Zoro and I could not get him under control so we finally decided that we just needed to leave. Ben was a large guy and I lowkey feared he was going to try and rape us or something. We grabbed all our drugs and just left this naked guy in our apartment. Last thing I saw before we left was Ben sitting butt ass naked on our couch.
Zoro and I went to our friend’s apartment a little ways away. I do not recommend driving and tripping. Please do not ever do this. It was extremely dangerous but we had no other choice.
We get there and our minds are finally slightly at ease. Zoro and I both feel slightly scarred and “brainfucked” after what we had just witnessed. We hang out here and tell our friend what happened and chain smoke weed trying to calm down. Zoro and I went and sold acid to a few different people and around 7pm (about 6 or so hours after we dropped) we decided to drive by our apartment and see what was up. We saw Ben naked outside with several cops around him. We turned around as quickly as possible and decided we would just stay at our friend’s apartment for the night. Eventually Zoro gets a Facebook message from Trans saying the cops were at the apartment which we already knew. I guess they searched our apartment. We decide to just pretend we didn’t read that and deal with it all the next day. So we did.
We get back the next day after things had hopefully calmed down. We were greeted by Trans who proceeded to fill us in on what happened. Apparently Ben left our apartment, jumped down a flight of stairs and smashed a hole in the hallway. He also broke the heating unit on the wall. Then he ran around naked trying to hug people, including little kids. He was arrested at some point and taken to a hospital. The cops searched our whole apartment and confiscated our bong and grinder. Everything else Zoro and I took with us. Trans was almost evicted from his apartment but had a week to clean the apartment after it had been trashed by Ben.
Zoro and I decided to sell the rest of the sheet we had and I took my half of the money and spent almost all of it on Xanax. I just wanted to forget what had happened. For the next two weeks I was heavily barred out. Cops were posted up outside our apartment every day. I was too afraid to even go outside. This lasted about two weeks before I decided enough was enough. I went to rehab then moved states and have been clean ever since.
Looking back on this experience, Zoro and I made many mistakes. The first was giving Ben way too much acid when we weren’t sure he could handle it. Second was that when doing such a large dose of any psychedelic, there need to be safeguards in place to ensure the environment of the trip is completely controlled. There can’t be any unexpected shit or you run the serious risk of entering a very negative headspace. Zoro and I are both extremely lucky we didn’t get arrested or raped. Neither of us talk about what happened even to this day.
Please excuse any typos, I wrote this quickly and breifly proofread. Hope you enjoyed reading and can learn something from my experience.